Jokes and funny stories.

[plastic nev]

Let's liven this bit of the forum up with some good, or even bad, jokes. This is a recent find to start things off.


I have two large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at my local Tesco and was in line to check out.

The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

Duh? ......

On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes everywhere and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me?

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my **** When a car hit me.

I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.
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"I have installed Windows, should I install curtains?"
No question is silly when you need an answer.

[doodles]

Here's a joke i heard yesterday that made me laugh.....

M&S are merging with pound stretchers the new trade name will be

.....Stretch Marks

I know it is hard times at the minute but it good some can make light of it all!

[plastic nev]

April will soon be with us, so this seems to be appropriate for the first day of that month.



_________________
"I have installed Windows, should I install curtains?"
No question is silly when you need an answer.

[karljoesen]

Very funny nev. Thank so much. let's continue