Makes you think.....Can you add to this?

[KenB]

STELLA AWARDS

The Stella Awards were inspired by Stella Liebeck. In 1992, Stella, then 79, spilled a cup of McDonald's coffee onto her lap, burning herself. A New Mexico jury awarded her $2.9 million in damages. Since then there has been an annual Stella Award for the most successful, rediculous law suit.

These are true cases:

A Pennsylvania thief, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and he found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found,and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.


A lady from Austin , Texas , was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was HER son.


And the one I like best:

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma . A lady purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. She sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000. plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
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[Bluesplayer]

Hi Ken.
What do you think Id get for two worn out fingertips?
Who do I sue?
I suppose learning how to touch type would help.

[KenB]

Some true insurance excuses:

I heard a horn blow and was violently struck in the back - a lady was evidently trying to pass me.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven't got.

Three women were talking to each other, and when one stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.

I can give no details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at the time.

Wilful damage was done to the upholstery by rats.

A pedestrian hit me and went underneath my car.

I blew my horn but it would not work as it was stolen.

I thought the garage had only four posts, but my car bumped into a fifth.
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[KenB]

A doctor and a boy were fishing. The boy was the doctor's son, but the doctor was not the boy's father. Who was the doctor?



Almost everyone needs it, asks for it or gives it, but very few people are happy to take it. What is it?


Some ducks were walking down a path. There was a duck in front of two ducks, a duck behind two ducks, and a duck between two ducks. How many ducks were there in all?


A man lives on the 20th floor of a high rise block. He takes the lift (elevator) to the ground floor each day on his way to work.
On his way home he takes the lift but, if he is by himself, he gets off at the 12th floor and walks up the stairs.
Why?


If you can answer these post a reply then add some of your own.
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[lel]

A doctor and a boy were fishing. The boy was the doctor's son, but the doctor was not the boy's father. Who was the doctor?

Was the Doctor a lady and the boys Mother?

correct - Ken

[Bluesplayer]

Hi Ken.
Need it..asks for it..gives it..not happy to take it.
Advice. .......................correct - Ken

Ducks..9 ????????????? ......................incorrect - Ken

Now the man on the 20th floor..I know his job [won't say yet]
But cannot join the dots. ............... .... ..... try these - Ken

Give me time.
Barry.

Hi ducks =5
Is the man the lift operator?
But my brain is now hurting..I give up Ken and if at all possible Id like the answer.
Barry.

[KenB]

I've made you wait long enough....

Ducks - - - 3

Man and Lift .......he was so small he could only reach the 12th floor button if he was by himself.


Now try this one:

Read this passage ONCE ONLY and count the number of Fs.
Do not go back and re-read it - stick with your first count.

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

Big hint here:
http://www.johnelkington.com/images/Slide15.jpg
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[Bluesplayer]

Hi Ken first count 3
Has to wrong..but not for the first time.
All that I know I owe to my ignorance.
Barry.

[Wolfeymole]

In chronological order:

Pillars v. R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.
78 So. 365, 366 (Miss. 1918)

Hold the Toes Please.
"We can imagine no reason why, with ordinary care, human toes could not be left out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it seems to us that somebody has been very careless."

Turnage v. Christy Brothers Circus
144 S.E. 680 (1928)

Nevermind the Monkeys, Watch the Horses!!
The plaintiff, an unmarried lady, while attending a circus performance as a guest of the circus, was seated in the front row. During the show, "a horse, which was going through a dancing performance immediately in front of where plaintiff was sitting, ... caused to back towards the plaintiff, and while in this situation the horse evacuated his bowels into her lap, that this occured in full view of many people, ... all of whom laughed at the occurrence, that as a result thereof the plaintiff was caused much embarassment, mortification, and mental pain and suffering ..."

Judgment for plaintiff.

United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff
54 F.R.D. 282 (W.D. Penn. 1971)

A Real Devil of a Litigant.
Plaintiff filed suit against Satan and his staff for violation of his civil rights. Among the allegations were: (1) that Satan had on numerous occasions caused him misery and unwarranted threats, all against his will; (2) that Satan had placed deliberate obstacles in his path that caused Plaintiff's downfall; and (3) that by reason of the foregoing acts, Satan had deprived him of his constitutional rights.

The court noted that, "Even if plaintiff's complaint reveals a prima facie recital of the infringement of the civil rights of a citizen of the United States, the Court has serious doubts that the complaint reveals a cause of action upon which relief can be granted by the court."

The court went on about its concerns and further noted, "We question whether plaintiff may obtain personal jurisdiction over the defendant in this judicial district .... the plaintiff has failed to include with his complaint the required form of instructions for the United States Marshal for directions as to service of process."

Case dismissed as frivolous.

Greenup v. Rodman
42 Cal.3d 822, 825 (1986)

It's all BS.
After a majority shareholder used involuntary dissolution procedures to transfer certain corporate assets to another corporation in which he was the sole shareholder, the minority shareholder filed suit. During the course of the lawsuit, Plaintiff commenced discovery. Defendant actively resisted both document production and deposition. After repeated failures to appear and numerous postponements, he appeared at a deposition on February 12, 1981, rescheduled at his request, only to refuse to answer questions because it was Lincoln's birthday -- assertedly a "legal holiday."

At a June 1981 deposition, on a court order to appear with records at the office of plaintiff's counsel, "Rodman [the defendant] produced an assortment of papers in a box filled with straw and and horse excrement, which he laughingly dumped on the table. After [Plaintiff's] counsel and the court reporter had inspected the documents for an hour, Rodman announced they must be sure to wash their hands thoroughly because the straw had been treated with a toxic chemical readily absorbed through the skin."

Consequently, on Plaintiff's Motion, the court struck the Defendant's Answer from the record and a default was entered against him.

[LouiseNatalie]

[KenB]

Hi Louise,

Try again
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[Blackmirror]

I counted 6

On the way to a water hole a zebra met 6 giraffes. Each giraffe had 3 monkeys hanging from its neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on its tail. How many animals were going to the water hole?



How can you drop an egg 3 feet without breaking it?


A man who worked in the butcher shop was 6 feet tall, had red hair and wore size 11 shoes. What did he weigh?
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I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly,Love deeply, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile

[LouiseNatalie]

[Blackmirror]

Correctamundo


but then being female you did have an advantage

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I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly,Love deeply, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile

[LouiseNatalie]